Sometimes they still need me. There are moments when these boys of mine who are growing up before my eyes still need me.
And I don’t mean need as in – need me to fix them dinner, or need me to help with homework, or need me to find that certain thing that they know with 100% certainty that they put back in its place but for some reason it isn’t there anymore.
No, I mean the need when they are so stressed out about something they can’t even put it into words that it keeps them up at night or the need that comes from a disturbing dream that feels a little too real when it wakes them in the dark. The need that has them plodding to my room in the quiet hours past midnight.
The need to be comforted. The need to feel safe. Though I treasure my sleep, I treasure my children more. So I follow them back to their rooms. I pray over their sweet heads and I spread a blanket on the floor amidst the scattered Legos. But I don’t sleep. I listen. And soon I hear the slow rhythmic breathing of slumber.
It amazes me that God has allowed my presence to be so powerful. That simply knowing I’m there can slow my son’s adrenaline charged pulse to the unhurried breathing of a child in peaceful sleep. What a gift I have been given.
There will be a day not too many years down the road when they will not be sleeping within the safety of these four walls. I pray then they will trust the True Comforter to calm their pounding hearts. The One who is not limited by space or time. The One who has blessed me with the temporary job of protector and comforter.
Until that day, I choose to cherish my role in their lives and treasure each opportunity to love them even if it means sacrificing hours in my cozy bed to sleep on their floor amidst the scattered Legos.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Loved does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
What about you…ever sleep on Legos? or maybe on some Bakugons? Or Bey Blades? Or Matchbox Cars? Sometimes love is physically painful 😉