Manifestations of Smallness

The reality is –

Through the Holy Spirit dwelling in me I can experience peace even in uncertain and uncomfortable circumstances.

The reality is – 

Because of God’s great love, I am continually on the receiving end of gifts of grace.

The reality is – 

because Christ took on human form and  gave himself up for me, I have hope in the knowledge that God cares about my life here on earth and ultimately my eternal future.

“Our trouble begins when we forget these realities and concentrate on our inadequacies, our fears, and all other manifestations of our smallness.”  (the late author Gladys Hunt)

Oh do I struggle with forgetting these realities and instead concentrating on my inadequacies, my fears and all the manifestations of my smallness.  And there is an ugly issue I have discovered at the center of my concerns.

Insecurity.

I do not consider myself an insecure person.

I am secure in my relationship with my husband. (Hands down the most awesome guy ever.)

I am secure in my parenting. (I screw up sometimes, but I think we are raising relatively responsible and incredibly lovely children.)

I am secure in my eternal destiny. (No doubt in my mind that Christ died on that cross and rose again so I could be forgiven.)

But there are circumstances in which my security waivers and I focus on my inadequacies.

Hanging out with a bunch of teenagers can throw me for a loop. (I sincerely enjoy them, but my insecurities tell me I am the awkward lady who lives with the fun guy.)

Writing. (Oh, I’m being published…I’m must be a good writer. Oh, rejected…I guess I stink… I know how this business works, but my insecurities can cause me to put to much emphasis on the rejections.)

Family decisions that differ from what is considered  “the norm.”  (What’s right for my family and what’s right for your family may be two different things. But when I start comparing, my insecurities cause me to second-guess myself.)

God did not create me to be insecure. He created me (and you) with a purpose and we can best fulfill our purposes when we trust that God knew what he was doing when He created us.

It’s a daily surrender, but I so desire to let go of the magnifying glass with which I dissect the manifestations of my smallness and instead magnify the the manifestations of the awesomeness of the One who created me.

What are you doing with your magnifying glass?

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. Because he is at my right hand I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made know to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:7-11.