Since finding a lump in my armpit on the eve of the 7th anniversary of my first breast cancer diagnosis, my life has been moving in both high speed and slow motion.  Appointments, ultrasounds, biopsies, tests, scans, x-rays. . . And in between all those things, the waiting and waiting for phone calls with answers to questions I don’t even want to be in a position to be asking. The waiting is awful, so awful in so many ways. But there is a strange beauty in it too. The heaviness pushes me to my knees because I literally have no…