How to Spend More Than $600 on a $269 IKEA Futon

It’s possible.

And here’s how to do it.

First, drive 3 hours to the Minneapolis IKEA with a friend. Realize when you get there that the futon you came for is out of stock. Enjoy your day anyway and come home with a few items of lesser importance.

Cost of Trip

Lunch – $12

Gas – FREE (Your friend won’t let you pay for gas because she’s pretty great.)

Then, four days later, drive 3 ½ hours with your hubby (who is awesome) to the Kansas City IKEA where the futon is in stock. Buy said futon. Eat way too much Mexican food and stay overnight in a hotel.

Cost of Trip

Gas – $30ish

Dinner out – $40

Hotel – $130

Arrive home and realize you bought the wrong mattress. Get very frustrated. Maybe even almost cry a little.

One week later, cram the wrong mattress into your vehicle and drive 3 hours with your husband (who is ever-growing in his awesomeness) to the Minneapolis IKEA to exchange it because the futons are back in stock there. Eat way too much Italian food and spend the night in a hotel again. This futon has already cost a ridiculous amount of time and money, so you might as well make it fun.

Cost of Trip

Gas $30ish

Dinner out – FREE thanks to a gift card.

Hotel $100

Arrive home and realize that though your futon is now complete, you left your new memory foam pillow in the hotel room.

Cost

Pillow $20

This whole IKEA fiasco will make you look like a super high-maintenance chick who spends money like water. But you’re pretty much the opposite of that, so this scenario will kind of kill you a little on the inside.

But you have a solid defense for your IKEA insanity. Ever since cancer, you’ve had trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons. Stress. Pain related to the cancer stuff. Discomfort from those annoying chest expanders. Neck pain which is related to the stress and to the fact that some of your muscles have been moved from their God-given place in your body. Your husband’s snoring (Oh wait, I guess that isn’t really related to cancer).

When sleep alludes you, you always head to the spare bedroom. But you just moved to a new home. And you downsized. Like, a lot. Which means no spare bedroom. No place for an extra bed.

Thus, your crazy futon adventure, though extremely pricey, is ultimately worthwhile.

And though you really, really like IKEA, you will have absolutely no desire to go back anytime in the foreseeable future.