The Space Between (Sometimes Moving Forward Seems Impossible)

Photo by Kim Harms Moving Forward

Sometimes when I walk through hard things, I have a picture in my mind of what I’m learning and how I’m growing. Sometimes I can even see a path clear through to the end. Other times I feel stuck and the picture moving forward is fuzzy. At those times, it’s often difficult to arrange the thoughts floating through my head.

I felt that way between tumor detection and cancer diagnosis, but I’ve felt that way other times in my life too. When something changes that’s beyond my control. When it still feels like everything should be as it always was, but I know the trajectory has changed, and I’m  stuck in some weird space between a before and an after, a yesterday and a tomorrow, having no idea when after or tomorrow will come. When all I can do is just wake up and get out of bed and do the things that God has placed in my path for that day, waiting and hoping for a time when I’m comfortably living in the after.

Anyone else out there get stuck like me?

I wrote this poem for those in-between times.

The Space Between

 By: Kim Harms

Mind screaming

Lips silent

Heavy heart

Hidden from view

World spinning

Body static

Unable to move

To see my way through

 *

Everything’s changed

Nothing’s changed

Stuck in the space

Between old and new

 *

Resounding gong

Clanging symbol

Relentless noise

Distorts what’s true

 *

God Infinite

God Immutable

Fix my Heavy heart

on you

 

 

By KimHarms

Kim Harms is a freelance writer who lives in smalltown Iowa with her husband of 18 years and their three sons. She's a contributor at CT Women and has written for Guideposts, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Creation Illustrated and a variety of other publications. In 2016, Kim was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a bilateral mastectomy and breast reconstruction. This website chronicles her life after reconstruction and offers resources and encouragement to other women who are going through the reconstruction process.

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