Kim Harms

Life Reconstructed

When Your Child Doesn’t Like Church


church pic copy

My 10-year-old son does not like church. While my worship leader husband stands before the congregation singing and drawing hearts into focus, I stand by a boy who doesn’t even move his lips.

In the past this frustrated me immensely. I wanted everyone to see my kids following the rules and singing with smiles on their faces. I wanted them to see that the Harms family had it all together. But, as I struggled through my frustrations, I became aware of the sinfulness in my attitude. Like the cup Jesus speaks of in Luke 11:39, I was trying to look squeaky clean on the outside. But by ignoring my son Owen’s heart, I was unclean on the inside…

I recently had the opportunity to write an article for Today’s Christian Woman about making tough, sometimes counter-church-culture decisions while striving to guide our kids toward Christ.

To read the rest of the story head on over to the TCW link below.

When Your Child Doesn’t Like Church


Author: Kim Harms

I am a contributor at CT Women (previously known as Today's Christian Woman where I was a regular contributor as well). I blog monthly at and have freelanced for a variety of publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, Guideposts, Thriving Family and Creation Illustrated. Cancer made an unwelcome visit in my breast in January 2016, and I am now working on a book about breast reconstruction after having gone through the insane process myself. My incredible husband of 18 years, Corey, is my biggest writing cheerleader and together we are having a ball raising our three growing boys; Carter 15, Owen 14 and Lewis 10.

2 thoughts on “When Your Child Doesn’t Like Church

  1. Kim,

    WOW! that’s all I have to say. :o) I am encouraged by your choices for your family and your trust in God to help you foster a heart for the Lord in each of your boys. When I look back on my past, I see how my parents really forced my siblings and I into the box and now I see that it may be the reason for the choices my siblings have made as none of them are following the Lord. They all mention they feel that church is hypocrisy and it is evident they missed the heart of the Lord. I don’t blame my parents as they became Christians when we were young and didn’t know what to do other than follow along with church culture and to present our “perfect” family doing all the “right” things. In the end, we are all responsible for the choice to follow Him or not, but I do think that as a parent you can have a great impact on guiding them to follow Him. Praying for you in this!


  2. Thanks Laura! I know that I screw up regularly but God (and my husband) are really teaching me that it is okay not to do things the way everybody else does.

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