Kim Harms

Life Reconstructed

Breast Cancer Sucks. God Doesn’t.

4 Comments

Breast cancer.

When those two words started getting tossed around the doctor’s office where I was trying to act natural in that stupid gown that was open to the front, I began oscillating between nausea and the urge to dropkick the radiologist.

How can he just say breast cancer as if he’s talking about a broken finger or tonsillitis?

But when those two words entered my world, they were closely followed by these.

 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

(I memorized that verse out of a King James Bible when I was 14, and it’s that Old English that still runs through my mind.)

During the long wait between “You might have breast cancer.” and “You do have breast cancer.” that verse played on repeat in my head. Every time I got scared (which was pretty much all the time, except when I was watching my boys play basketball – Thank you Lord for the basketball diversion.) that fear was followed by God’s soothing words from Isaiah.

It still sucked. It still does suck. Cancer pretty much just sucks.

But God doesn’t.

He is with me, and I’m not saying that in a cheesy, lofty, impersonal, that’s-what-everybody-says-to-make-sick-people-feel-better kind of way. I’m saying it in an I-recognize-my-Savior-and-he-keeps-showing-up kind of way.

I was about to go in for my biopsy when I received a text from my friend Wendy. It said this:

Do not fear for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my right hand of righteousness.

There are over 31,000 verses in the Bible and she sent me that one. That, my friends, is God showing up through Wendy’s fingers.

Several days later, after diagnosis, my BFF’s grandma sent me a note of encouragement and included this:

Do not fear for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my right hand of righteousness.

And then when I announced to the world on facebook that I have cancer (because I think that’s what you’re supposed to do on facebook – tell people things like, “I just had the best tasting scone ever.” and “My baby just turned 14. My how the time flies.” and “I have cancer.”) Whatever. Maybe cancer and facebook are not a good combo…

…but buried down in the middle of all of the sweet messages I received from so many people, I found this

verse

God’s up for this fight, even when I’m not so sure I am.

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Author: Kim Harms

I am a contributor at CT Women (previously known as Today's Christian Woman where I was a regular contributor as well). I blog monthly at inspireafire.com and have freelanced for a variety of publications including Chicken Soup for the Soul, Guideposts, Thriving Family and Creation Illustrated. Cancer made an unwelcome visit in my breast in January 2016, and I am now working on a book about breast reconstruction after having gone through the insane process myself. My incredible husband of 18 years, Corey, is my biggest writing cheerleader and together we are having a ball raising our three growing boys; Carter 15, Owen 14 and Lewis 10.

4 thoughts on “Breast Cancer Sucks. God Doesn’t.

  1. Yes, He is – And He’s got you covered! Will be praying for blessing upon blessing to come out of this terrible experience!

  2. Kim…I was first diagnosed over 7 years ago and am still fighting! You got this and so does God! If you ever have questions from someone who’s been there, please feel free to contact me.

  3. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. But since I can’t I will pray that God would indeed strengthen you as ONLY He can.

  4. Hi Kim, I am a breast cancer survivor!! (I’m also Holly P’s Mom) I can honestly tell you that Cancer for me has been a blessing! Yes it’s difficult and tiring at times, but God has brought you to this journey for a reason. You will be blessed!!!! You will have a greater understanding of the life that you need to live from here on out. Prayers of support and wellness through your journey! Let me know if you need to talk, pray, or just let it all out!

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