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A Love Poem for My Favorite Guy

by KimHarms 0 Comments

So Happy Happy Birthday

And Happy Valentine’s too.

I am far beyond blessed

that I get to do this life with you.


Breast Cancer Husband


In the past two weeks Corey has had to help me do a lot of things that I didn’t figure I’d need assistance with until I was in my 80s.  You know, like sitting on a toilet.

To give you a glimpse of recent days in our home, the following is an incomplete list of normal everyday things breast cancer has made it necessary for Corey to help me with.

  1. Walking.
  2. Sitting down.
  3. Repositioning myself in my chair.
  4. Standing up.
  5. Eating.
  6. Scratching my itchy nose when my hands couldn’t reach that far. (When I was coming out of anesthesia this was torture!)
  7. Brushing my teeth.
  8. Combing my hair.
  9. Washing my hair.
  10.  Going to the bathroom.
  11. Getting dressed.
  12. Applying chapstick.

I’ll refrain from listing the gross my-wife-just-had-major-surgery stuff he’s had to deal with. Suffice it to say, some of the things he’s done for me make me a little lightheaded to think about.

I am steadily improving and just a few days ago mastered the art of moving from a seated position to a standing position unaided.  It is amazingly challenging to function without the use of ones chest muscles, but my legs are learning to make up for the lack of strength in my upper body.

Corey is usually just a text away (as my screenshot above shows) ready to take care of my every need, no matter how small or weird.

And at the end of the day, we sit side by side in our loveseat recliner and watch episodes of M*A*S*H* while I wait for my pain meds to kick in. During that time, I hold his hand and wonder how he can love me so much. All the hard parts of my life fade. And all the stuff I used to cling to gets lost in this all-encompassing sacrificial love.   All is well with the world in those minutes.

Cancer still sucks. Recovering from a double mastectomy will not make the highlight reel of my life. But as much as I have loved Corey over the past 18 years, I love him even more since cancer came.  Without the detour my life took this winter, I would still be a happily married woman who enjoys Netflix with her husband, but with cancer I am a happily married woman who has a deep and tangible understanding of selfless love.

It’s not been easy. It’s not been fun. But in a very real way, it has been good.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.


A Time to Hold On and A Time to Let Go

by KimHarms 0 Comments

lewis bike copy

Sometimes my kids say things on the fly that resonate with me for a long time afterwards. This following little Lewis phrase is one of those statements. Letting go is hard. In this case it was literal, but in parenting it seems I am always figuratively letting go of something I want to hold on to.  

“Mom, let go.”

Those three words hit me like a punch to the gut. Hot tears fogged up my sunglasses.

It was just the mastery of a 2-wheel bike, but it wasn’t. It was more.

My six-year-old’s words echoed in my head as I loosened my grip on that little black bicycle seat and watched my baby boy cruise down the path unassisted.

He doesn’t want my help.

One more item added to the list of ways he doesn’t need me anymore.

That’s what this parenting thing is about though, isn’t it? Training our children up in such a way that they grow in independence. If it is precisely what should happen and what I want to happen, why does it hurt so darn much?

As I watch him reach each new milestone of achievement, my great sense of pride is mixed with an equally great sense of loss. I’m not sure there is an emotion stronger than pain and joy mingled together. And it is such a common one in parenting.

My prayer is that as he grows more independent physically, spiritual growth becomes increasingly evident. That he will one day take up this faith his father and I have been impressing upon him and say

“Mom, Dad.  Let go. I own this now.”

And I will let go; hard as that may be. And I will watch him become his own person. And I will be grateful for the feeling of joy and pain mixed, because with deep love comes deep emotion.

As I watch him go and grow, I will continually pray that the joy of being on the right path, feet on the pedals cruising along without my help, will outweigh the bumps in the road that try to knock him off course.

What about you? Is your child asking you to let go? Maybe you too need to peel your clenched fist off the seat of his bicycle and let him navigate the trail on his own. Go ahead and try it. Just don’t be surprised when tears fog up your sunglasses.

2 Timothy 3:14-15 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

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