8 years ago today I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 1 year ago today, I had to call Corey at work (in the middle of what is arguably the most awful project he’s been involved in during his 20+ years with his employer) and say, “I found a lump in my armpit, and Dr. Harishand wants me to come in today.’” We all know how that turned out. This world and this body of mine just suck sometimes. But I still believe God is good. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. He never promised that ugly…
I threw up into my hand while driving home from my workout class last week.Sometimes I feel like my body hates me.Sometimes life just feels pretty unfair.I’m adjusting to a keep-the-cancer-away pill that I have to take morning and night for two years. I have to gear myself up every morning to take it knowing the side effects will kick in soon after.Nausea is one of them.I hate throwing up.But I really like living.Therein lies the quandary.This morning God gifted me with this quote, a beautiful white coating of snow and a really good (nausea-free) workout prior to taking my…
According to Goodreads I read 46 books this year. Several of them were boy-meets-girl-who-just-inherited-a-run-down-coastal-bed-and-breakfast fluff because you just need to read some predictable unrealistic love stories when you are experiencing a year of unparalleled yuckiness. My top 5 are not fluff. This is Going to Hurt is both hilarious and a bit sad. I listened to this on audio and laughed out loud multiple times. The Silent Patient is a page-turner. Super-unique story premise and I was totally taken by surprise at the end. Marley & Me is endearing. Somewhere along the line I guess I became a dog person….
The pharmacist called to outline all the possible side effects of my newest stay-the-heck-out-of-my-body cancer drug. It’s historically been for women with MBC, but was recently approved for use in earlier stages for certain women. Since I’ve won the cancer lottery twice, I’m a “certain woman.” The side effect list for Verzenio is long and unpleasant. Not everyone has them all, but almost everyone has some. Nausea – “Be sure to have Zofran on hand,” Mr. Pharmacist says. Diarrhea – “You’ll want to have Imodium handy too.” Low White Blood Cell Count – “You’ll be more susceptible to illness. But…
Tiny little me to the left of the palm tree. Last month I sat on a 5th floor balcony, endless blue in front of me and the continual sound of crashing waves backgrounding the slowly rising early morning sun. A fresh vacation journal sat on my lap and Oceans by Hillsong streamed through my Spotify. You call me out upon the watersThe great unknown where feet may failAnd there I find You in the mysteryIn oceans deep my faith will standI will call upon Your NameAnd keep my eyes above the wavesWhen oceans riseMy soul will rest in Your embraceFor…