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When I Was Scared by Lewis Harms

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I go through all the boys notebooks at the end of each school year and keep a sampling of what they’ve done. Lewis’ stories often inspire laughter. But this rare gem brought tears.

I was scared too, Mr. Lewis.  And what I wanted most in the world was to protect you from the fear I was feeling. I wanted to kick that fear and the cancer right out of our house. But I don’t have that kind of power, and the best I could do was to let you see me take my fear and put it in the hands of the one who can take fear away. I placed it on that alter every morning, and at least a hundred times each sleepless night. And I know that you saw God at work in me as I wavered and struggled to land on the side of trust.

In hindsight, I can see that it was a good thing that God had us all work through the fear instead of immediately and miraculously removing the source of it the first time we asked.  Because through it, we gained a true raw story of God’s faithfulness right here under our own roof. A story we can remind ourselves of the next time something scary walks through our door.

God is good. God is faithful. And perhaps he is closest when we are scared.

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Flying Cheese ~ A Kindergarten Confession

lewis It was all because of the flying cheese.

I was tucking my little man into bed when he made his cheese confession.

“Mom, I forgot to tell you something.”

(Lewis, who shares pretty much every detail of his every day life with me, “forgot” to tell me something…my ears perked up immediately.)

“What’s that buddy?”

“I had to go to the principal’s office today.”

If my youngest had had previous incidents involving disobedience and disruptive behavior in school, this may have upset me a little bit. But as he is a pretty well-behaved, albeit un-Harms-ishly social six-year-old, I was more intrigued than anything.

“Why were you sent to the principal’s office?”

“Ryan couldn’t get the cheese out of his cup. You know, the cheese that the lunch ladies make? So I hit it out. And it landed on Ryan and on me and on Lexi.”

Yep. I can see my Lewis pounding on a plastic cup of cheese. I can visualize the goofy grin on his face and hear that contagious giggle that makes me want to squeeze him to pieces. I can also imagine him enjoying the attention of this little stunt a bit too much.

So much that it drew the attention of his principal.

I wonder what Lewis thought as Mr. Jimmerson approached his table. I wonder if he was embarrassed as he was forced to walk across the cafeteria alone to dump his tray. I wonder if his heart was racing when he took his seat in that room no one wants to get sent to.  I guess maybe I’ll never know how it all went down.

But I do know that his guilty conscience wouldn’t let him go to sleep without confessing. Or more likely, his guilty conscience combined with thoughts of a looming parent-teacher conference. The fear of being found out seems to have a way of influencing the decision to fess up.

Whatever it was, my little man knew his best move was to confess.

Lewis has always had a way of making me smile, and tonight’s bedtime conversation was no exception.

I smiled because I knew his tender little heart really wanted his mommy to say it was okay. And I smiled because the kid is so stinking funny.

Lewis not only made me smile with his bedtime confession, but he got me thinking about accountability in adult-life.

I think we could all use a little healthy my-kindergarten-teacher-is-going-to-tell-on-me-fear like that in our lives. We need someone who isn’t afraid to ask us if we’ve done anything worth a trip to the principal’s office. And who isn’t going to just let us get away with it if we have.  I know there are times I’ve tossed some stinky cheese – or maybe some unkind words or ugly thoughts- at people who didn’t ask for it.

And though I’ve never been sent to the principal’s office,  I am pretty thankful for the people in my life who won’t let me get away with doing stupid stuff. And whose influence usually keeps me from doing the stupid stuff in the first place.  How about you?

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Thanksgiving Tree

by KimHarms 0 Comments
Thanksgiving Tree

Thanksgiving Tree

I’ve got a confession to make.

I put up our Christmas tree before Thanksgiving.

For those of you who think I have done something utterly sacrilegious, I will argue my case.

1. My house is on the market. Seriously, someone could (they probably won’t but they could) buy our house and want to move in before Christmas. And the thought of the possibility of not being able to enjoy the beautiful lights at least one more year while I warm up my derriere by my fire was too much for me.

2. We had a completely free Saturday. Enough said.

3. Have you looked at the calendar? Thanksgiving is super-late this year. In years past, I could have had my tree up a week ago and it would have been after Thanksgiving.

So there you have it. Think of me what you wish.

Though the Christmas tree is up, I am not a skip-over-Thanksgiving-person. Our Thanksgiving tree is up too. I have much to be thankful for. As do my children.  The following  is a list of the things my boys wrote on the “thankful” decorations hanging from the tree.

Cousins

Grandma and Grandpa

Bed

William

Big yard

Fireplace (boys after my own heart)

Jayden and Josiah

Being able to give to the poor

Sports

Basketball hoop

Car

House

Theatre room (we are a Duck Dynasty-Cake Boss-Movie-watching-popcorn-eating kind of family)

1 Chronicles 29:13  Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

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My 33-Word School Day Prayer

by KimHarms 0 Comments

At some point during the morning rush each day these words run through my mind.

Dear Lord,

Please protect their eyes from seeing things they should not see

their ears from hearing things they should not hear

and their mouths from saying things they should not say.

Amen.

It’s tempting to feel like I need to come to God on my knees with elaborate prayers and eloquent words. But if God was impressed by eloquence, he never would have called Moses to lead his people. And though there is great value in spending time on my knees before the Lord, he hears the simple prayers too.

I do have many specific and individual prayers for my three kids, each of whom have specific and individual needs, but protection from the ugly parts of this fallen world is one of my greatest concerns in the hours they spend outside of the realm of my watchful eye.

So I will continue to pray these words that come straight from the lyrics of a song I sang in Sunday School oh-so-many years ago.  And I will continue to trust that the one I pray to cares even more for my children than I do.

Our prayer and God’s mercy are like two buckets in a well; while one ascends, the other descends.  ~ Arthur Hopkins

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“Mom, Let Go” – A Poem About My Boy

by KimHarms 0 Comments

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Because sometimes milestones can be equally joy-filled and heart-breaking.

“Mom, let go.”

 *

Three small words

A punch to the gut

Tears behind sunglasses

Broken heart

 *

Black bicycle seat

Released from my grasp

Unfettered boy

Riding free

 *

Simple mastery of

Two-wheels

But to me

It is more

*

He can do it

On his own

Reliance on me

Ever decreasing

 *

A mama’s pride

 Mingled with loss

Most heart-wrenching

Mix of emotions

 *

Down the path

He pedals alone

Grinning, bursting with

Joy of independence

 *

Bless that boy

Father I pray

And comfort the mama

Who let go

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